We're Calling The S*#t Out

For months we've sat idly by as this Fifty Shades shit rolled past us, and we promised ourselves we wouldn't say anything since people who love this garbage can be off-the-wall crazy.  That promise was broken just moments ago when we read that yet another piece of fanfic from Twilight just sold to some idiotic New York publisher for way too much money. Are they fucking kidding?

We blame people like us to some extent for not saying anything, for not calling the bullshit out when Fifty Shades first arrived on the scene. We should have come down on this garbage like a ton of bricks. We didn't, and now look at the mess. We don't care if you can't tell it was Twilight fanfic. It was. Even worse is that it's plain and simple crap. Bad writing, boring characters, and awful story are the nicest things that should be said about this three volume void.

Also to blame for this mess is an entire generation of readers. It's disturbing in the extreme how many readers (most of whom are also bloggers) will say to us that Twilight affected their lives so much they began to love reading. Are you kidding? And this series has affected everything since for them, especially how they read. They can't handle much depth because then it's too complex and "confusing." Twilight taught them surface writing was good writing, so they judge everything based on that erroneous idea.

Don't bother telling us there's anything thoughtful in those books or in the Fifty Shades books. There isn't. You'd only be embarrassing yourself if you said otherwise. Both series are filled with vapid ideas, banal writing, and characters flatter than the envelope the mailman shot under Talia's door yesterday.

Most of all, if you think that's erotic writing, you're telling the whole world you've never had good sex. Ever.

We can't tell you how many times we've wondered when Random House was going to come out and say, "Ha, ha! You fools! You bought this crap and made us millions. Thanks, sheeple." They can't actually think it's any good. If that's the case, New York publishing is even more lost than the indies say it is.

So now we once again have to hear from reviewer after reviewer about how wonderful this new book is. Do book bloggers even know what a well-written story is anymore? If all they have is a Twilight background and a love of books based on that, they don't. Do reviewers have any clue what makes a good story or are they basing everything on whether they liked the book or not? If so, then what makes their opinion any more valid than anyone else's? What seems clear is that far too many people giving their opinion have no real basis for it.

The backlash against Fifty Shades has already begun, and even though it's overdue, it's here. We know of at least two authors who refuse to send their books to blogs that liked the series. Expect that to continue as authors find other ways to get the word out about their books rather than through book bloggers who don't know what makes up good writing. When it happens, all of us who blog about books deserve it, either for not knowing garbage when we see it or for knowing and not standing up and calling "Bullshit" on it.

Selena and Talia